A professional gambler walks into a bar


A professional gambler walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar and orders a round of drinks for everyone.

The bartender looks at him and says; “OK but we’re in the middle of a Depression. I need to see some money first.”

The man takes out his wallet and shows the bartender the large wad of cash he is carrying.

“Wow! How did you get all that money?” asked the bartender.

“Well, I’m a professional gambler.” replied the man.

“Professional gambler? There is no such thing. I mean your odds are 50/50 at best. Isn’t that right?”

“Well, I only bet on sure things.”

“Like what?”

“Like I bet you $50 that I can lick my left eye.”

“Ummm.. OK. You’re on.”

Taking his glass eye out, the man licks it.

“You tricked me.” the bartender complained as he handed the man a $50 note.

“I’ll give you another chance. I bet you that I can bite my right eye.”

“I know that you’re not blind because I saw you walk into this bar. OK, you’re on.”

With that, the man takes out his dentures and bites his right eye.

“You tricked me again.” the bartender complained as he handed the man another $50 note.

The man purchases a couple of bottles of whiskey and retreats to the back of the bar where he joins in playing a few games of Poker.

A few hours later, he stumbles up to the bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll give you one more chance. I bet you $500 that I can stand on the bar and pee in that bottle without spilling one drop outside.”

The bartender looks at the man who is barely able to stand and accepts his bet.

Climbing up to the bar, the man pees all over the place as the bartender looks on and laughs.

“You owe me $500” shouts the bartender.

“I know. That’s OK though because I bet everyone in the bar $1,000 that I can pee all over your bar and still make you laugh.”

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